Sunday, July 29, 2012

Conflicting Emotions

As we get closer to the time to leave the States (August 21) many are asking me if I am ready to go back to Loja. I smile and say yes. Sometimes when I am alone I wonder if I am really ready to go back.
I have conflicting emotions. I love Loja, the people, chasing trash cans, teaching beside Terry and working in our small church we attend. I like the simple life we have there. There are people who need to know Jesus there.

In the States I love being with the lambs (grandchildren) , spending time with our parents and fellowshipping with our brothers and sisters in Christ. I enjoy the small town life, thrift stores and Dr. Pepper.

We will be leaving parents who are getting on in years and I feel a responsibility to them. Our grandchildren are growing up so fast and I love being able to be a part of their lives. It is hard to look at our house and see someone else living in it. Sometimes I think of the job Terry left and the security that it gave me. To be honest it would be nice to stay here.

But I know I can’t depend on emotion or my desires. I have done that many times and made wrong decisions.  God asks of me to obey. He didn’t say if you feel like it or even if you’re happy about it.

The emotions are conflicting but I know that God will give us peace and contentment in obedience. He did last year and he will the coming year.


  1. I know what you are saying -- I feel the same exact was practically all the time. It IS about obedience. God blesses obedience. A LOT. I'll be praying for you. :)

  2. Hi Terry - our new blog is:

    Blogger was giving me huge troubles and I couldn't even write a post, just a title! So just copy and paste the address and it should work. Praying for you, I know how hard it is. If you get a chance, pick up Elizabeth Elliot's Let me be a Woman or Shadow of the Amighty: Life & Testament of Jim Elliot. She (and he) talk a lot about the call of missions and obedience. I find their writings incredibly encouraging to me, and it puts our trials and sufferings into perspective when I read how others have sacrificed so much more than I have - and God used it. hugs and prayers, Chris